Unfortunately, it is impossible not to quarrel at all, because now aggression is coming from all sides and finds a way out either through excessive food or alcohol or through quarrels.
Therefore, it is extremely important now to control the expression of one’s opinions, which sometimes turn into accusations.
Instead of accusations, you can say, “I am very angry now because of the feeling of helplessness. I’m scared and I don’t understand what will happen tomorrow. I don’t feel safe. Let us think with you as partners about what we can do. “
In a couple, it is always easier for someone to process information, while someone, on the contrary, keeps everything to himself and thus preserves his fears.
Be careful with criticism.
Try to use the principle of a sandwich: good accent ➡️constructive criticism ➡️good accent.
So criticism will be perceived by the partner more adequately.
For example, if your husband said something unpleasant to you, you can answer him: “Listen, I appreciate and love you very much as my husband/partner, but your words hurt me a lot now. Don’t do that, please. It is better to be a defender for us. We can handle everything. “
If you have the strength and desire, you can organize a ritual of negotiations. For example, every night at 18:00 sit down together to talk.
Ask the following questions:
- How do you feel today?
- How can I help you?
- What’s wrong with you? For example, I am angry at this and that. How are you?
- Let’s find a compromise, if possible.
If you have young children, you can experience aggression by playing with them. Or try this game in your pair.
Game to work with aggression: you stand on 4 “paws” and imagine yourself as an animal that can defend itself with paws, teeth, and growling. For example, you play a family of tigers. You bite, you push with a paw. It will be much easier to experience aggression in such a game form.