A reproductive function may be impaired during life-threatening events. For example, women often lose their periods.
But another reaction is also possible – hypersexuality. It may be based on an evolutionary mechanism – the desire to leave offspring at risk of death. Sex is also used as a way to regain control, get pleasant emotions, and relax.
Due to constant stress and uncertainty, prolonged lack of sleep, depression, and taking certain medications libido might be reduced. Women have difficulty arousing and reaching orgasm, and men – have premature ejaculation and lack of erection.
Thoughts about “how I can have sex when others die” can also cause a decrease in sexual desire.
If lovers have not seen each other for a long time, then after the first meeting, the sexual life that was once usual may not return immediately. After long-term abstinence, there are difficulties in achieving an erection for men, and orgasm – for women.
This is normal, don’t worry. Sexual function will be restored after a while, and before that think about how to express your feelings differently.
Information about rape can cause increased anxiety, disgust toward the partner, and unwillingness to be close. You can identify yourself with the victims, and then the excitement will be frightening.
It is very important to talk to your partner about your feelings. This will give him the understanding that your reluctance to have sex is not because of him. If this condition persists for a long time, you should work out these feelings of disgust, fear, or shame with a specialist.
During the war, interpersonal conflicts intensify. Excessive expectations from a partner, inability to delineate one’s boundaries, different views on the need to evacuate/stay in the shelter – all this leads to mutual resentment and frustration, which, in turn, negatively affects libido.
It is important to remember that intimacy in a relationship can be maintained through hugs, kisses, and kind words.
Whether or not to have sex during the war, the regularity of sex is your couple’s decision. You have the right to have sex as well as to pause. Always talk to each other about your feelings, find words of support, remind yourself how important your loved one is to you, and find the formula of intimacy that suits both of you. And, of course, never forget to use a condom – your reliable helper and protector.